Reflection article

When I started the course “Living with Your Own Ideas,” I didn’t expect it to get so personal or for its challenges to resonate so deeply with me. Until now, my work has always been focused outward, designing for others, meeting their needs, responding to their tastes, finding ways to solve their problems. But for the first time, this course flipped everything around, asking me to dive into my own experience and start designing from my own personal struggles, desires, and identity. Realizing that I know myself better than anyone else, it felt oddly exciting and yet daunting. Saul’s projects and the discussions on identity he led were a huge inspiration; they reshaped my concept of self-expression and made me realize the freedom in designing from within. His story about the crucified Christ, a group that changed history based on their own belief and worked out their environment to achieve it, showed me how impactful self-driven ideas can be when we shape our surroundings to accommodate them. I was invited to look at myself not just as a designer but as a person with the ability to shape, express, and even change my identity.

The first exercise had us work on “becoming our best selves,” and I’ll admit, at first, I struggled to pinpoint what that even meant. What did I want to change about myself? Where was I holding back? It felt strange to reflect on this and to admit to myself that, for years, I’ve been self-conscious about my excessive sweating, which I know affects my confidence. It’s an internal issue but one with a very real, external impact. Every time I’m in a social space, the feeling of sweat marks holds me back. When others are carefree, dancing, and laughing, I’m consciously aware of this physical discomfort, and it’s something that influences how I interact with the world. Working on this was more than a design challenge; it was a commitment to address something uncomfortable. I wanted to create an “Anti-Sweat Kit” to finally bring myself comfort, and I found myself reimagining design as a tool for facing very personal fears. As climate change raises temperatures, I also began to consider that others might experience this same issue, which could expand into a focus for my work in the course.

The second day took us even further outside of our comfort zones, asking us to "become something non-human.” I hesitated to fully commit to an “animal transformation” as I wasn’t convinced by just wearing a prosthetic to simulate an animal experience. I thought about taking on specific, useful qualities of certain animals that intrigued me, but eventually, I chose something different. I created a cowbell prosthetic to understand the feeling of being tracked and dominated, feelings that non-human animals experience when humans enforce control over them. It was more about embodying concepts than fully “becoming” a cow, and this shift in perspective allowed me to engage in a different way. This challenge also had me reflecting on my own identity, especially in terms of how I present myself. On a personal level, I thought about how my physical appearance has often been shaped by others, particularly by my family. I’ve rarely dressed or presented myself in alternative ways: no modern hairstyles, no piercings, mainly because it wasn’t allowed or encouraged. In fact, I’ve always dressed fairly “standard,” which has led others to make assumptions about me. People often tell me, “You don’t look like you’d be into techno,” as if my interests don’t match my appearance. This challenge connected me to the idea of embracing my own visual identity and, perhaps, pushing against those perceptions in the future.

The third challenge, “to Judge and be judged,” was the most introspective for me. We had to design prosthetics that would affect how we’re perceived, and instead of focusing on how others see me physically, I turned inward to explore what really makes me happy. The idea of wearing a mask, the joy of music, and the experience of rain, these are simple yet profound elements that represent my happiness. My smile, something I’ve often been complimented on, was central to this challenge. Someone once told me, “Your smile is eternal,” and that compliment stuck with me because it felt like they saw me, the real me, who loves the energy and joy of life, especially in the rave scene where techno music brings a smile that feels almost contagious. This made me realize that happiness is at the core of how I want to be perceived; when I smile, everything around me feels better, people feel more open to connect, and the energy just flows naturally. Happiness attracts happiness, and I wanted to share that through my prosthetics.

This week’s exercises brought home the idea that joy, self-expression, and confidence start within, and only once we’ve achieved those for ourselves can we really share them with others. For someone like me, who loves sensory experiences and the intensity of exploring each sense, these challenges connected deeply to my love for the sensory world. The fact that “Living with Your Own Ideas” could link to broader themes from our previous studies, like reconfiguring the body and enhancing the senses, was unexpected but fitting. It’s a reminder that, as designers, we’re not only creators but also participants, and the best way to shape meaningful experiences for others is often to start with our own.